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December 25th 2009
Deemed, unforgettable – not for the festivity that commemorates the birth of Jesus, no, nor the fancy decorations have those houses worn especially for this once a year celebration, absolutely not. So he packed his suitcase, destroyed everything in his path and made it clear to everyone that was there to witness this horrible mishap that he no longer wished to be a part of the family. What family? I almost questioned myself. Was there even a family to begin with? With the lack of trust, love and understanding I didn’t see the bond in what should have been a family. There might have been all those necessity a while back, but I suppose I was either too young to understand or too oblivious to see. Arguments are held; I thought of them simply, no one can love each other without meaningless quarrels right? I mean, I see them all the time, big whoop. Funny thing was, I thought I was used to it, I mean after all, he was sent to the police station and had to undergo anger management classes.
It had all seemed so surreal, like a re-enactment from an Asian drama series that I have watched not so long ago. He even did the whole shirt ripping thing whilst shouting in angst, it would have been so much better though if it had happened in slow motion, but let us not forget that it was an expensive dress shirt as well. So why was he angry in the first place? She innocently peeped into his wallet to discover that the $150 dollars she had given him yesterday was gone. Simply stating her discovery, he abruptly walked out of the bathroom, slamming the door shut, ready to point fingers. And that he did, from one mere action he pulled in everything to anything he could find to insult her. At that point, reasoning seemed quite pointless, what’s there to talk about when the other person won’t listen to a single thing you say.
Naturally, the tears fell, pouring endlessly like a rain storm. Momentarily, I had gone insane; screaming my way through the loud commotion, doing damage to my own body in order to receive the attention I was crying out for. I pushed him, I grabbed him, I held him down to the wall, I was at near point where I could have slapped him but knew better than to take after and act irrationally. Though no matter how many times I’d provoke him, the more he ignored my presence. It were times like these when you wished that you were at fault instead, you can hate her, love her, whatever, but in the end, seeing my mother cry was becoming unbearable. I felt like dying, the thought of bathing in my own pool of blood excited me greatly. Oh if only he knew, if only he knew how much damage he was inflicting with every word, every action.
So my head throbs in absolute pain, my eyes are blurred with tears, and my body cannot seem to stop shuddering in torment. I haven’t eaten all morning but the idea of eating in general makes me want to throw up. He left, he walked out on us even after all the reasoning I tried to pull. He wanted things to end so what more can I do? It’s Christmas after all, it only made sense for his wishes to be fulfilled.
Strange thing was, of all things I could have cried my hardest for, it wasn’t for my baby brother who waddled around, crying due to the loud uproar, nor my mother who was tearing and speechless, but rather our home phone which we had only recently purchased a few months back. It cracked into pieces before being thrown into the bath tub filled with water.
It’s okay though, I won’t hate Christmas, well not forever, just for as long as I live.
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★ The blogger;
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